RSS Feed

WINDOWS XP Redneck Edition

Posted on

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of WINDOWS XP SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South.

If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands.

The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads:

WINDERS XP, with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag.

It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screensaver.

Please also note:

  • The Recycle Bin is labeled “Outhouse”
  • My Computer is called “This Dern Contraption”
  • Dial up Networking is called “Good Ol’ Boys”
  • Control Panel is known as the “The Dashboard”
  • Hard Drive is referred to as “4 Wheel Drive”
  • Floppies are “them little ol plastic disc thangs”
  • Instead of an error message a “roll of duct tape” pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SOUTHERN EDITION:

  • OK . . . . . . . . . . ats aw-right
  • Cancel . . . . . . . stopdat
  • Reset . . . . . . . . try er agin
  • Yes . . . . .. . . . . yep
  • No . . . . . . . . . . noop
  • Find . . . . . . . . . hunt fer it
  • Go to. . . . . . . . . over yonder
  • Back . . . . . . . . . back yonder
  • Help . . . . . . . . . hep me out here
  • Stop . . . . . . . . . kwitit
  • Start . . . . . . . . crank er up
  • Settings . . . . . . . settins
  • Programs . . . . . . . stuff dat duz stuff
  • Documents . . . . . . stuff ah done did

Also note that SOUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders XP:

  • Tiperiter . . . . . . . . A word processing program
  • Colerin book . . . . . . a graphics program
  • Cyferin mersheen . . . . calculator
  • Outhouse paper . . . . . notepad
  • Iner-net . . . . . . . . Microsoft Explorer 9.0
  • Pichers . . . . . . . . . A graphics viewer
  • Dern lit varmit . . . . . A mouse

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused ifin you received a copy of the SOUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this heps all y’all!

Billy Bob Gates
Head Honcho

Advertisements

About Oliver Schmid

Experienced IT executive with over 20 years of global experience and demonstrated success in driving IT value, business and IT, reducing overall costs, and quickly executing and delivering business solutions. Member of the International Association of Outsourcing Professionals (IAOP)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: