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Tag Archives: United States

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Seal of the White House Office of Homeland Sec...

 My trip to the store……
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning.When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said, “Strip down facing me.”
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!
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Why Men Don’t Talk To Women

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The Magic Green Hat

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The Magic Green Hat

The other day I needed to go to the emergency room.
Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my MAGIC GREEN HAT.
When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left.

I guess they decided that they weren’t that sick after all.
Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here’s the hat.

The Green hat

The Green Hat

It also works at DMV. It saved me 5 hours.

At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.

But…don’t try it at McDonald’s. The whole crew got up and left and l never got my order!

Alan Simpson aka Captain Bullshit

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In the United States, Social Security benefits...

Image via Wikipedia

This fellow said very directly what many of us “over fifty” folks have been saying for some time. It’s time that the politicians quit referring to Social Security as an entitlement program. WE paid for it. It was a very solvent program until Congress pilferred BILLIONS away to pay for their scandalous entitlement programs  Those programs are benefiting people who never paid one cent into into them. Please read the following:

Alan Simpson, Senator from  Wyoming , Co-Chair of Obama’s deficit commission, calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he compared “Social Security” to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats August, 2010.

Here’s a response in a letter from a unknown fellow in  Montana …. I think he is a little ticked off!   He also tells it like it is !
—————————————————————————————————————————-

“Hey Alan, let’s get a few things straight..

1.) As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS.

2.) I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63).  (Note I said “paying”.  Social Security is NOT an entitlement as you would have us think.  We PAID for that right, unlike you Congressional ’employees’.)

3.) My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud.

4.) Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67.  NOW, you and your shill commission are proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN.

5. ) I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an  extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills.

6. ) I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR debt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To add insult to injury, you label us “greedy” for calling “bullshit” on your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU.

1.) How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career?

2.) At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers?

3.) How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?

4. ) What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual,have  you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators called Congress who are the “greedy” ones.  It is you and your fellow nutcases who have bankrupted  America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers.  And for what?  Votes.  That’s right, sir.  You and yours have bankrupted  America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers.  You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable ASS.

If you like the way things are in  America , ignore this.
If you agree with what a fellow citizen says,  PASS IT ON ! !

CHEAP FLIGHTS !

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This video/song says it all and does not need a whole lot of commenting. It tells the whole story and I would say without much exaggeration. If we’re not there yet 100%, I make any bet we will be soon.

… and just as a small site note: ‘p’ stands for British Pound Sterling


The Darwin awards are out!!!!

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Yes, it’s that magical  time of year again when the Darwin Awards are  bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended  victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and  tried the trigger again.  This time it worked.

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a  claim to his insurance company.  The company  expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.  He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.  The chef’s claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow  for an hour to clear a space for his car during a  blizzard in Chicago, returned with his vehicle to  find a woman had taken the space.  Understandably, he  shot her.

3. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped.  Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone  waiting there a free ride.  He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.  The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager  was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.  When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,  and asked for change.  When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the  cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.  The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.  The total amount of cash he got from the drawer, $15. [If  someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is  a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.  He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.  So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.  The cinder block bounced back and hit the  would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious.  The liquor store window was made of  Plexiglas.  The whole event was caught on videotape…

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran.  The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed  description of the snatcher.  Within minutes, the  police apprehended the snatcher.  They put him in the car and drove back to the store.  The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.  To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her.  That’s the lady I stole the purse  from.”

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.  The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order.  When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast.  The man, frustrated, walked away.  [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for.  Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.  A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake.  The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

White Tiger Cubs

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When hurricane Hannah separated two white tigers from their mother, Anjana came to the Rescue. Anjana, a chimp at TIGERS in South Carolina, became surrogate mom and playmate to the cubs, even helping with bottle feeding, according to The Sun. But here’s the truly amazing part: This is something Anjana does all the time, having helped raise leopard and lion cubs on several occasions.
These pics are truly gorgeous.

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I love this photo!!!




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